Madrileño Dreaming

Eight years ago today, I left a place that I called home for three months. I did not know what to expect since I was a whole day's worth of travel away from home and in a distant land where very few people spoke English. So there I was, a small town boy, arriving in a bustling city-- a capital originally planned by King Felipe II, and excited about the prospects of the unknown that was to be three months living in Madrid, Spain.

Seriously, I really did not know what to expect. I had never been out of the country for an extended period of time, save for an occasional long weekend in Monterrey or Saltillo, México. Up until then, Spain had been this far off destination that I had only dreamt about. Nevertheless, the excitement that awaited me outweighted any misgivings I had about leaving my family and friends behind in Texas.

I arrived with a head cold, which for two weeks, made my stay rather miserable. The cold had gotten so bad, that I even entertained the notion of leaving, but that thought was thankfully scraped after a visit to my local farmacia. Hurray for those green neon crosses!

Although I lived in Madrid for those three months, the town I miss the most is Granada. I was so enchanted with this town, that I paid it a second visit the last weekend before I returned home. I don't know what it was about this town, but it's like there must have been magic in those cobblestone streets. I was drawn to the Alhambra and to the Albaycín and to the people too. I used to say, and still say it to my friends, that if I had stayed one more week, I probably would've stay in Granada indefinitely.

Having lived in Spain for so long, I listened to my share of flamenco music and saw a couple shows, mainly in Madrid. A great number of flamenco troupes flock to the capital where it's more financially feasible. I've always found it difficult to put the passion of flamenco music to words, but I think the following piece does it quite well.

Spanish Dancer
by Rainer Maria Rilke

As on all its sides a kitchen-match darts white
flickering tongues before it bursts into flame:
with the audience around her, quickened, hot,
her dance begins to flicker in the dark room.

And all at once it is completely fire.

One upward glance and she ignites her hair
and, whirling faster and faster, fans her dress
into passionate flames, till it becomes a furnace
from which, like startled rattlesnakes, the long
naked arms uncoil, aroused and clicking.

And then: as if the fire were too tight
around her body, she takes and flings it out
haughtily, with an imperious gesture,
and watches: it lies raging on the floor,
still blazing up, and the flames refuse to die -
Till, moving with total confidence and a sweet
exultant smile, she looks up finally
and stamps it out with powerful small feet.

There were so many other memories I made during my short time there, that would take so long to jot everything here: Toledo was just brilliant- El Greco's El Entierro del Señor de Orgaz is one amazing piece of art. I certainly believe that his artwork is vastly underrated. Sevilla is a gem- I actually had time to visit the Archivo General de Indias for a project I was working on back home. Talk about old school. There's nothing like holding a 300+ year old document in your hands and reading the goings-on in colonial Mexico. And then there's Barcelona. Although I only stayed for a day and half, it was a dream come true of sorts. We had an exchange student in high school who hailed from Barcelona and I was captivated with stories of her hometown. My enchantment grew even more when Barcelona hosted the '92 Olympics. What I wanted to see more than anything there was Barcelona's grand, unfinished church, La Sagrada Familia by Antoni Gaudí.

Now that eight years have passed, I feel so far removed from everything Spain, literally and sadly, figuratively. I almost forgot this year's 8th anniversary and I do have reasons for almost forgetting: a death in the family and another relative diagnosed with stage 4 stomach cancer, all within a few weeks time.

I miss Spain tremendously. And my poem below gives you an idea how I feel.

my love

nothing’s diminished mi querida.

i still feel the same as if i were still with you.
the memories still feed the hole in my soul.
i still think of you often, on any given day.
the memories are wonderful, yet bittersweet.

oh how i miss your smile mi querida.
oh how i miss your warmth mi querida.

nothing will make me happier
than to hear your voice again
nothing will bring me joy
than to see your beauty again and again.

i wish for more time than
what we had the first go ‘round.

i wish to see more of you than
i did the last time.

how can i return to enjoy your charm and grace?
how can i regain that which is now unattainable?

songs and photos of you can only
distract me for so long.
dreams and thoughts of you can only
sustain me for so long.

oh how i wish i was with you again mi querida!

you are the stuff of dreams.
you are the dreams that i still have.

this relatively short time is getting too long for me.
it’s become too long to be without you.

eres la novia de mi ser,
you are my soulmate,
mi querida España.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
fj de g y l
28 I 2007

Musical recollections

I love music in most of its forms, hence why I've always said that listening to music is one of my favorite things to do. I've had the chance to check out some fantastic classical related cds lately, especially those that included songs that I had the pleasure to play when I was in high school.

One cd that I checked out from my local public library a couple months ago, included a song called Folk Dances by Dmitri Shostakovich. It's a lively piece that is compromised of several ethnic "folk dances" akin to the cultures of Russia. It had a lot of, what out director called, "noodles," lengthy run of notes usually done in complicated rhythms. I have many fond memories playing this song with my classmates, especially the times we spent practicing the song for competition.

Another song that I appreciated from the get-go, because I played it early on in my musical career, was Theme from Marche Slave an arrangement of Tchaikovsky's Marche Slave. Playing these selections throughout my musical career influenced my tastes as I enjoy Russian themed music to this day.

American Civil War Fantasy by Jerry Bilik also brings back great memories of playing music. On the way to work this morning, I listened to a cd that included this selection. It was the first time in days that I listened to something other than John Mayer's Heavier Things, which is a great album, by the way. Bilik's ACWF is also one of those montage inspired songs, among which includes these Civil War era favorites: Dixie, Listen to the Mockingbird, Maryland My Maryland, Rally Round the Flag, When Johnny Comes Marching Home, The Yellow Rose of Texas, Just Before the Battle Mother, and a soaring finale made quite memorable with The Battle Hymn of the Republic. Now talk about a moving piece of music.

Something to share

Pablo Neruda is one of my favorite poets, as you've seen on a previous post. Here again I am sharing another one of his pieces, but this time in Spanish. Check out this website: http://www.neruda.uchile.cl/index.html

¡Disfrute!

NO HAY PURA LUZ
No hay pura luz
ni sombra en los recuerdos:
éstos se hicieron cárdena ceniza
o pavimento sucio
de calle atravesada por los pies de las gentes
que sin cesar salía y entraba en el mercado.

Y hay otros: los recuerdos buscando aún
qué morder
como dientes de fiera no saciada.
Buscan, roen el hueso último devoran
este largo silencio de lo que quedó atrás.

Y todo quedó atrás, noche y aurora,
el día suspendido como un puente entre sombras,
las ciudades, los puertos del amor y el rencor,
como si al almacén la guerra hubiera entrado
llevándose una a una todas las mercancías
hasta que a los vacíos anaqueles
llegue el viento a través de las puertas deshechas
y haga bailar los ojos del olvido.

Por eso a fuego lento surge la luz del día,
el amor, el aroma de una niebla lejana
y calle a calle vuelve la ciudad sin banderasa
palpitar tal vez y a vivir en el humo.

Horas de ayer cruzadas por el hilo
de una vida como por una aguja sangrienta
entre las decisiones sin cesar derribadas,
el infinito golpe del mar y de la duda
y la palpitación del cielo y sus jazmines.

Quién soy Aquél? Aquel que no sabía
sonreír, y de puro enlutado moría?
Aquel que el cascabel y el clavel de la fiesta
sostuvo derrocando la cátedra del frío?

Es tarde, tarde. Y sigo. Sigo con un ejemplo
tras otro, sin saber cuál es la moraleja,
porque de tantas vidas que tuve estoy ausente
y soy, a la vez soy aquel hombre que fui.

Tal vez es éste el fin, la verdad misteriosa.

La vida, la continua sucesión de un vacío
que de día y de sombra llenaban esta copa
y el fulgor fue enterrado como un antiguo príncipe
en su propia mortaja de mineral enfermo,
hasta que tan tardíos ya somos, que no somos:
ser y no ser resultan ser la vida.

De lo que fui no tengo sino estas marcas crueles,
porque aquellos dolores confirman mi existencia.

TX A&M CC-inderella's gone dancing

In terms of sports, this time of the year is my favorite, handsdown. There's no other thing I would rather be doing than sit and watch as many NCAA basketball tourney games as I can. Because of my work schedule and a death in the family this past week, this year's tournament has not started with it's usual oomph. I did not get my tourney picks in time, so I can't see how my picks would have stood up with everyone else's. I only saw a few games on the tournament's first day because of our return trip back to town, so I'm looking forward to the games after work this weekend.

Since we drove down to South Texas Sunday afternoon, I missed one of the biggest games this season. Texas A&M Corpus Christi, new to the Southland Conference this year, was in their first conference championship game, and had a shot for an automatic bid to the NCAA tournament. I had my brother periodically text message me to update the game's score. Although I am not an alumnus of this university (UT-San Antonio, '97), the success that this team has had this year is a big thing for the Corpus Christi area.

This was the first year that A&M-CC was able to join an NCAA Division I athletic conference. The basketball program is in its eighth year and had struggled to get quality opponents to play them, much less make the trip down to Corpus Christi. Even though they beat Florida State in Tallahassee last season, this year they played, and lost, against three perennial winning basketball programs, two of them '07 NCAA tourney teams: lost at Purdue 79-61, lost at UNLV 67-57, and lost at Mississippi State 96-72.


I feel that the team deserved a better seed than the 15th they received. Considering that they had received votes in the last two AP polls, I hoped they would get at least a 14th seed or even a 13th seed. But at this point, tournament newbies can't really complain can they?

This season was full of firsts for A&M-CC. They won the regular season championship in their inaugural season to the conference. Then they won a conference tournament championship and a spot to the Big Dance all in their first season as newcomers to the conference. I hope that this will be the first of many conference championships and the first of many visits to the NCAA tournament in the years to come.

They'll have more than their hands full with Wisconsin, but this fan will be chanting what the student section at Islanders home games chant: A&M-C-C! A&M-C-C! A&M-C-C!